February 27, 2005
First Race

Wow, really cool to be racing with a team so supportive and just lots of fun, bringing great attitudes and professionalism to toe the line. Our men and women’s Subway teams are here in Merced for our 10-day training camp and today we jumped into the race scene without ever having ridden together in a paceline for more than 5 minutes! Yesterday we did some team building activities – Paintball which was lots of fun - and today we raced in a local crit which always brings out the fast and tan CA chicks. We were very aggressive and attacked straight away soon after the race began. One of our riders, Crystal Yap, got a gap with 2 others of about 30 seconds as we slowed the pace at the front. We executed a plan well to allow them to catch us so we could set up a lead out for her since we were up in numbers more than any other team. There was a good and bad… the good is that they caught us with about 3 laps to go just as we started setting up and I won the field sprint but the bad was that as we were leading out I had no idea that Crystal was not in position and we had set the pace too high for her to feel recovered and confident behind me. Too bad without a radio that I couldn't hear her and a little oblivious that I was not paying more attention to her whereabouts. But, it was such a good learning experience for next time.

And in the men's race, our very own Josh Carter took first. He's a great new addition to the team and I was really stoked for him and the rest.

I am looking forward to riding our new Fuji bikes. They are truly rad looking, I will have to post a few pics up later. Good to get on to the racing… Meet the Subway teams at:  www.expressracing.net.

February 6, 2005
Super Bowl Sunday

Like I could care! Nonetheless, invites abound but only to the serious followers of the end of the NFL season. Something about the commercials, the commercialism, the pomp and ceremony. Like it’s not the end of the world to miss the day which really was not even worth mentioning in the first place.

All I can think about is riding the bike, taking a nap, making some dough, eating tri tip burritos, and listening to Diana Krall’s Love Letters. There are some unsaid things too but this confusion never stops.

I’ve started a collection that began on a training ride in Solvang on January 29^th where I found a random toy followed by more toys n’ things. A lizard one day, a ninja dude the next, and most recently, a valentine something-or-other made out of pipe cleaners. That’s nice…and there are other things not so small that I reckon I would have liked to pick up, a very nice beach towel in Del Mar, an abandoned sink, motorcycle, the things that don’t really fit too well in the pocket of my jersey. Can’t be bothered.

Heart still a fluttery flit and after several tests I have come to my own conclusion that it is homesicknessitis. Like an island and it passed me by when the truth is I miss having a home. That’s it. That’s the diagnosis, so get on with it. I will be asked to recall how it all started and I couldn’t really begin to answer. It gets pushed further and further back in time still without an answer. I’m reminded everyday, that people in this world care about me. Now, I say that and the loneliness creeps in. It is my own damn fault not managing the life-load so well. I was told I suck the other day. Occasionally, I do. That’s all it is, just a sensitive little so and so.

Time to ride… A loop with the BBC’ers. A flat one I hope. Yesterday, I climbed 2500’ in 20 miles. Craziness. I am crazy. Convinced?  I also fell over on my bike trying to do a track stand waiting for my buddy Dean. Ah, now, see?  Reckless chick.

No cursing missed opportunities and looking for excuses this season. No pressure, but game’s on. Not for me, not for you, but cuz I can. Cuz I want to be the rock rather than the one standing on that rock. It’s worth fighting for. It might be June before I get there, it might even be June ’07, but it is going to stick someday.

Ya’ll don’t need to read too much into my daily distractions.

 

February 1, 2005
Lover's Point

What? Groundhog’s Day is tomorrow, the shadow, the sun, the winter, the spring. What’s it gonna be lil guy? I got bills to pay and have eaten too many chocolate covered espresso beans… 

Spent the weekend in and around Monterey Bay and across the streets of SF. I get high on a city filled with so many people going someplace… or, eyes wide open not going. Then, there is always the quiet soft spot, a favorite place of mine to visit, the beautiful beach just south of Cannery Row, that is south, right? Sitting on a rocky cliff at Lover’s Point, full sun, and 4 cute little kids playing in the sand with mommy and daddy. “Look! Come here and look at the seashells, over here!” One of the girl’s names was Melissa. Then riding on toward the 17 Mile Drive. 

I am learning which places on earth are some of my favorite spots and more often than not I end up at the sea. Love the sailboats docked at the harbor in Oceanside, CA, Cannon Beach, OR, and Pacific Grove, CA, Antibes, France, and some little town not far from Koge, Denmark, name I’m not too sure of. Feels so close to home though. It is always the well crafted and detailed wooden boats that catch my eye. I look around at them for something lost better than 10 years ago and it feels the same way all over again.

Last night I came to Lafayette, CA to visit my good friend Dean. What a most beautiful day yesterday and then today. The whole weekend was just amazing for a January/February sort of day to me, a native Oregonian. Must have been 70 degrees. Dean came out to ride with me today so that was nice and we just toodled around going to coffee and him showing me the roads, how to get to the 12 mile Mt Diablo climb if I’m ever well enough to actually go up hill, and how not to get lost. “Ok, I am following you, take me home,” he said…Um, ok. Hoping my bud and training partner Omer comes to help me keep from gettin lost, he's Mr map guy!

Now, hold on. What the heck? Lately I have felt the need to move to CA and buy a Porsche and live in a nice place overlooking the Pacific. Where did that come from? Must be the flashback to my childhood memory where I would dream and design pretty houses with wood floors and well lit breakfast nooks and take my dream mobile, the Targa 911, out for a nice ride along the beach. Dean has a nice white Carrera and he said I could drive it…ok! Hmm, and I’ll take a metallic silver 986 Boxster. Is about $43 grand but that’ll do nicely. Next report:  How I went 130 on the 80 while acting like I was 12 again while Dean goes golfing with a client. Hey, somebody’s got to do it!

And final note to self:  Love Diana Krall song "Dancing in the Dark."