MelissaSanborn.com
|
MelissaSanborn.com |
||
10/22/07 |
        
|
March 2005 Journal Archives
|
 |
March 27,
2005 Butterflies by the billions fill the space around me. Dodging my spokes, flying into my unzipped jersey, they are everywhere the last 2 days. Met some cool folks yesterday on the Swami’s ride. We hung out and rode big miles today. Been super nice here in SoCal which is what I really needed to be able to get in a solid 25-hour week. The Easter bunny was on the ride today, dressed in his pastels, the best kit you’ve ever seen. Check out the photo page…Super funny crashing the Sunday Easter Sermon during our mid-ride water stop. Then there’s Joe and Blake singing songs all day whilst climbing at a pace too brisk for my liking, picking grapefruit from the fragrant orchards, and musing over my new found love again for the longer miles on this sunny Easter day. Best part was Joe’s treat of coffee and a pineapple carrot muffin at Pannikin in Encinitas on the PCH and Blake’s 14-line Shakespearian sonnet about lust. I was pretty impressed by the young actor. While closing my thoughts I’m touched by the music in my ears of Sarah McLachlan who says something about spend all your time waiting for that second chance for the break that would make it ok. There’s always some reason to feel not good enough and it’s hard at the end of the day. I need some distraction some beautiful release. Rather than waiting for the second chance, which takes a lot more patience than I have, why not create the opportunity?
|
|
March 25, 2005 Have come away this week back in Carlsbad, CA training with some of my Subway teammates: Cam, Crystal, Remi and Todd. Rode a bunch over the last couple days and have had time to indulge in an all-you-can-eat sushi feast last night and of course we always stop for coffee along the way. 7 hours of chamois time in one day is QT. There’s some good times and pretty views and very often I am missing things in OR. Lately, if it’s not one thing it’s another and I have been faced with things that leave me questioning the good of human nature and who I can trust…no surprise. Just takes so much out of me. I should talk, right, about trust when I have really hurt the ones I love? I guess I know now how that feels to be burned. Resiliency gets us through but so tired of the deceit. The bright side is that I have been getting fitter and faster and been doing a bit of writing and accounting, painting, and consulting to keep a dollar in my pocket. Really enjoy it when I have to be creative. Thinking about going back to school and finishing my degree…like exercise physiology or something cool. It’s time for a change and a way of relating to people with real long term aspirations. More thinking about where I will lay my belongings down next between races and really learning patience for a life that is just beginning and is gonna have to last longer than 32 years. Thanks
everyone for your positive emails and grand suggestions. It’s nice to
not have to trade places with a liar just to see their point of view.
I’ve added a link to our team’s website. You’ll find some of our race
reports (written by moi) and some cool photos too, taken by our
photographer Susan Yost. She’s a super lady. And our website designer
who works her buns off day and night, Kendra Wenzel. So, check it out! |
|
March 16, 2005 Where do I
begin? Restless thoughts, being on the road and ready at times to look
over my shoulder and go back to OR. My story is lacking method and
order without attention to relations and proportions. Where do I start
but where I am? My heart is
filled with some special things. Leave the light on and try not to
question the intensity of illumination and the simple truths… |
|
March 8, 2005
Driving
west on 152, the oak woodlands of Pacheco Pass Must mention how I resisted temptations of Ben & Jerry's ice cream bar at store stop in Sunol today on super nice day where it was 80, i swear. Last night it was the the easter candy on isle 8 at the Rite Aid searching for Tegaderm. Hard to be do damn good all the time! The count was 5 broken collarbones in Sunday’s Foothills RR around Snelling, CA, including one of our own, Josh Carter of the men’s Subway Pro Cycling Team…broken in 3 places. Heal fast, Josh. I easily could have been the 6th as I crashed HARD while following a rider closely sitting 4th wheel when she decided to look over her shoulder, checking the status of our attacks, and took out my front wheel. I am remembering the moment all too well, and am having nightmares of pavement ripping flesh. I got up from the melee, dizzy and shaken, collecting myself and bike parts after riders toppled over me, our team staff trying to get me to the team car, not to get blood on the seat of the new Dodge Magnum, saying to our director, why, why do I do this? The funny part is that it only took getting the sting out and the wounds bandaged before I was running through the feed zone in want and ready for more racing. The agony and adrenaline, the gains not made unless to suffer some defeat, the ability to hold yourself together when it all falls apart and makes you endlessly crazy… this makes us a tough breed amongst many other professions…more so than one may have thought looking on the surface but not delving into the psyche of someone trying to make it to the top. Sacrifice and circumstance, sometimes held together by a mere thread of hope, a single strand of belief that we can go on, off the bike and on the bike. Rekindled fire, the mind playing tricks on the choices we make, not wanting to settle for second best. Thanks to my teammates, our sponsors, and the Subway Pro Cycling Team staff for good racing this weekend and the past 10 days, getting to know you all better. Sorry my top end was missing Saturday, but I know you all understand it is coming along. Good work to all and we tried best we could. It’s just the beginning of a great season ahead. Nicki Wangsgard, Emily Westbrook, Sima Trapp, Crystal Yap, Suz Weldon, Liza Rachetto, we have a good mix. See you soon… |
This site was last updated 01/14/06